Tag Archives: corn

Barbecue Madness!

I’ve decided that I’m going to try to capitalize one post and see if it kills me. :)

As you read earlier, I love having new spices to play with; I also love condiments of all kinds, but some i think never need to be purchased as long as you have a few   simple ingredients kicking around your pantry. I always make barbecue sauce on the fly, utilizing either ketchup (ghetto style) or tomato paste, vinegar, and sweetener as my base, but this is one of the first times I’ve documented the ingredients. It’s one of the simplest and most praise-garnering additions you can bring to your next cookout or gathering, and it makes a great gift for newlyweds. My newest incarnation is sweet, smoky, and tangy thanks to tamarind paste and blended chili powder, and it dresses up tofu and veggie burgers like a pro without overwhelming. If you like your sauce extra spicy, add 1/4 TSP or more of cayenne pepper- it’ll add heat without adding heavy flavor.

Tamarind Laced Barbecue Sauce

1 6oz can tomato paste

1/4 c apple cider vinegar

1/4 c  + 2 tbs agave nectar

1 tbs molasses

2 heaping tsp tamarind paste- I use Tamicon in the yellow jar

1  tbs  Arizona Dreaming or similar chili powder blend

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

1/4 tsp + freshly ground black pepper

1/2 tsp salt

Whisk together all ingredients in a saucepan and place over low heat. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Taste, and adjust seasonings as needed. Let cool before pouring into a glass mason jar, use within one week.

Tamarind Laced Barbecue Sauce

Tamarind Laced Barbecue Sauce

Another summer staple that’s sure to please; garlicky herbed ‘butter’ thats a step up from your usual grilled corn topper. This also makes  great croutons/toast, and is delicious over potatoes and broccoli too! We also shook a little Rawmesan over the top and it was divine!

Herbalicious Garlic Butter

2 TBS earth balance

2 TBS olive oil

1-2 large cloves garlic, crushed

1/4 tsp salt

1 TSP Penzey’s Sandwich Sprinkle or similar seasoning blend

1 TSP nutritional yeast

2 pinches dill

black pepper

Start by combining the earth balance, oil, and garlic in a small sauté pan. Heat until just bubbling, and simmer until the garlic just barely turns golden. Remove from the heat, and let cool for ten minutes. Strain out the garlic, and mix in the rest of the spices, adding pepper and salt to taste. Use a basting brush to spread over hot ears of grilled corn, or other veggies.

Herbalicious Grilled Corn

Herbalicious Grilled Corn

I couldn’t really take a satisfying picture- dried herbs don’t turn everything green like fresh ones do, so i’m going to attempt this again when my garden it extra frilly!

Speaking of, look at my grocery store!

Arepas stuffed with BBQ Jackfruit!

bbq jackfruit arepas

bbq jackfruit arepas

people!- i totally wrote the BEST post ever about yesterdays dinner and i accidentally deleted it. i am so bummed right now! ugh. it was something about how arepas are the new tacos, and how i was trying to replicate a pull pork and avocado torta that the hubby used to eat as a child, and then WHOOPS, deletesville, population 1. excuse my lack of wit as i try to re-type the recipe without going bonkers. the arepa dough is the same basic recipe as viva vegan’s, and pretty much the same recipe on the bag of masarepa that i bought- i think all you need to shoot for is a texture similar to “heavy mashed potatoes”. now if only i had another stuffed arepa to shove in my mouth to take away the agony of my first ‘lost’ post!

xoxoxo

jen

BBQ Jackfruit Stuffed Arepas

makes 6

you will need

2 cups masarepa- i use harinaPAN

2 c warm water

1/2 tsp salt

2- 20oz cans young green jackfruit in brine- rinsed, gently squeezed, and rinsed again

1/2-3/4 c vegetable stock

1 c of your favorite barbecue sauce

hot sauce, avocados, veganaise, and limes for assembling.

first, make your jackfruit! start by heating a few tablespoons of oil in a large cast iron skillet. add the jackfruit and brown on all sides. now, add in the vegetable stock and simmer while mashing with a potato masher or a fork until it shreds and begins to resemble pulled pork. pour in enough barbecue sauce to coat and simmer until completely absorbed and set aside.

now for the arepas! preheat the oven to 35o and start heating a cast-iron skillet over medium high heat. place the masarepa flour and the salt in a large bowl. pour in the water and mix either by hand or with an electric mixer until a slightly sticky, heavy dough forms. if needed, add extra flour or water to achieve the proper consistency. divide the though into six balls, and flatten each one into a ‘biscuit’. lightly oil your skillet before placing the arepas in it, and cook them until browned on both sides, turning once. when finished, pop them in the oven and bake for roughly 10 minutes per side- you’ll know they’re done when they sound hollow when tapped. you can also take this time to put the jackfruit shreds on a second baking sheet and put them in the oven too to help firm up the texture by drying out extra moisture.

when the arepas are barely cool enough to handle, split them open 3/4 of the way through and give them a little smear of veganaise before stuffing with avocado slices and jackfruit. sprinkle with lime, salt, and hot sauce before devouring.

Mexican Fried Rice!

i’ll let you in on a little secret: i suck at making spanish rice. it’s true, it’s true! every time i combine tomatoes and rice and expect them to cook together it ends up in disaster! i don’t care what anyone says, there is no such thing as brown rice that will cook in a tomato based liquid. but i wanted something like spanish rice so i figured i’d pre-cook the brown rice and then combine it with all of my other ingredients. but then i decided that instead of just mixing some cooked rice with tomato, i’d pan fry it all together for mexican fried rice, because after all, cold rice is the base for any fried rice. yum!

Mexican Fried Rice

4 c cold, pre cooked brown rice

1 20 oz bag frozen corn kernels

2 tbs gluten-free tamari

1 small red onion, quartered and sliced

2 jalapeños, or to taste, sliced

3 cloves garlic

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp smoked paprika

1 tsp mexican oregano

1 cup chopped tomatoes

cilantro, scallions,lime wedges, salt and pepper- to taste

preheat a large wok with a few tablespoons of oil. add in the onion and cook until slightly softened, about 5 minutes. add in the corn and sauté until light golden flecks appear. now add in the tamari, spices, tomato and garlic. sauté until the tomatoes start to break down and then toss in your rice. keep stirring and tossing everything until hot, and taste for salt and pepper. garnish servings with wedges of lime, cilantro, and scallions.

mexican fried rice

mexican fried rice, tamales, and mega greens

Tamales and Bloody Mary’s!

i mentioned in my carnitas post that i should make tamales, so i did! to be more precise, the hubby and i made 5 dozen tamales, stuffed with jackfruit carnitas, roasted sweet potatoes, and homemade refried beans. we also made roughly 2 quarts of tomatillo sauce. it was sunday, so it seemed only right to drink bloody mary’s all day, but no one carries a vegan and gluten free worcestershire sauce so i had to ad-lib my own! i won’t post a recipe for the sauce as i didn’t jot anything down, i just kind of went for what’s listed as ingredients on the regular stuff and seasoned to taste.

find my carnitas recipe here. 

my favorite tamale dough

filling and steaming how-to’s

tamale party!

* the edamame was for snacking on, although they would probably be delicious in tamales too

sunday, bloody sunday

delicious

i dressed mine up in tomatillo sauce, chipotle tabasco, and guac.

Habanero Linguine with Black Beans, Grilled Veggies and Avocado Cilantro Pesto

i’ve been going to the farmers market (lyndale, aka ‘the big one’) regularly this summer for my weekly produce stock up, and i found a great pasta vendor- pasta alley- they have a huge variety of flavors, and also makes whole wheat and gluten-free pastas as well. we’ve bought quite a few flavors over the last few weeks, but we have come back to one over and over again, habanero! just like the name implies, it’s definitely a spicy noodle, so we tend to mix in an equal proportion of another flavor to help dull the heat. i only wish they made more of their flavors in whole wheat or gluten free, because i can’t rationalize eating ‘white’ pasta more than once or twice a month. oh well. here’s a fun recipe that we have whipped up twice now using plenty of farmers market finds! You could also use plain pasta and add heat with either a little habanero sauce, or crushed red pepper flakes.

Habanero Linguine with Black Beans, Grilled Vegetables, and Avocado Cilantro Pesto

serves 6-8

1 8 oz package habanero pasta

1 8 oz package chive and onion pasta (or another flavor)

4 small zucchini, halved and sliced 1/2” thick

1 1/2 c or about 4 ears worth of sweet corn

1 28 oz can black beans or about 2 1/2-3 cups total beans

Avocado Cilantro Pesto* make a double batch if you like your pasta saucy

1 ripe avocado

the juice of 2 limes

1/2 c slivered almonds

1 bundle, or 1 cup loosely packed cilantro

1 tbs nutritional yeast, opt

1/2 c water if needed

olive oil or canola oil

salt and pepper to taste

first, lets make the sauce. combine all sauce ingredients except for the water and oil in a food processor. pulse until finely chopped and pasty. with the machine running, stream in roughly 1/4 c of oil. now stream in some water until thinned slightly. depending on your personal preferences, you could use more or less oil or water since the avocado makes it so creamy, and the lime adds a nice punch of flavor. set this aside.

grill the zucchini and corn either on your grill pan, under the broiler, or on a coal grill until crisp tender and lightly golden on the edges. either grill the corn on the cob, or remove the kernels and place in aluminum foil. place in a large serving bowl. rinse the black beans under hot water and add to the bowl.

boil the noodles according to the package directions, and rinse under hot water once al dente. drizzle with a teeny bit of oil- this will help everything combine smoothly without a gummy mess.

toss the pasta with the veggies, and then with the pesto sauce. serve immediately or at room temperature.

the original versionthe first version with just cilantro and corn, tossed with lime juice and coconut oil.

the new version!

Sweet Corn Tamales, perfected

Last year i wrote about finally finding La Loma tamales at the state fair, and the delicious sweet corn tamale dough that was used to encase a summer vegetable filling. I tried to replicate the recipe, and had good results but after a second time around i think i have it! or at least i have it the way i like it! yay! since i gave my cooties to my hubby, we needed a weekend activity that involved having fun at home, and my idea of fun always involves food. always. i’ve been working a ton and the hubby is teaching this quarter, so both of us have our fair share of evenings that leave us little or no time to cook. last months pizza bill was embarrassing to say the least, so we took this as a prime opportunity to fill up our freezer with awesome food that could be reheated in a pinch. as of right now, we have 3 pans of enchiladas covered in a cheezy nooch sauce, several dozen tamales, and tons of green tomatillo sauce and red chile sauce from Viva Vegan along with extra sauce from my enchiladas all nestled up and frozen waiting to be consumed. after purging too many unlabeled, freezer-burned soups and oddities from our freezer we finally filled out freezer right; pans of enchiladas were froze first and then covered in oiled aluminum foil before being placed in a heavy duty freezer bag. this way they have extra freezer-burn protection, and the oiled foil makes them immediately oven ready-the foil won’t stick to the glorious cheezy sauce you slaved over! the tamales were allowed to fully cool and then get chilled in the fridge before bagging and tagging. i know this sounds silly but don’t forget to label and date your frozen goodies! you might think you’ll get to all of those meals asap, but trust me, sometimes a carton of coconut bliss gets in the way and by the time you find that old bag of soup you may not want to take your chances at “guess my age?”. to freeze enchiladas, i prepped one recipe each of the quadruple pepper spiked enchiladas and cheezy sauce,  and spread the goodies between 3, 9-inch aluminum cake pans using 9 total tortillas for each pan. to get the tortillas to fit cut 2 of them in half and layer them around the edge of your pan, and plop the last in the center. and as i said before, freeze them in the pan before covering the top in oiled foil-oil side down. this will let the enchiladas fully expand to avoid leaking/exploding.

but anyways-on to the damn tamale dough i promised you!

Improved Sweet Corn Tamale Dough, adapted from Viva Vegan

1, 10oz bag sweet corn kernels

vegetable stock- warmed

2 tsp agave nectar

1/2 c non-hydrogenated vegan vegetable shortening

1/2 c earth balance, or another non-hydrogenated vegan margarine

3 1/2 c masa harina, i use maseca

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp onion powder

 1/2 tsp salt   1 tsp salt

 

cream together the margarine and shortening until fluffy and light and add in the agave, salt, baking powder, onion powder, and the masa. continue to beat on low until a sandy mixture forms. place the corn kernels into a tall measuring cup, and cover with enough vegetable stock to equal 3 cups. place this mixture into a food processor or blender and pulse until partially blended. you definitely want to see little corn bits in here. pour this into your masa mix and beat on low until a moist, pliable dough forms-similar to mashed potatoes. this stuff is the jam for making “white” or plain tamales, and is just as delectable stuffed with whatever your little vegan heart desires. follow my tamale making instructions here for uses.

*one of these days i’ll actually buy a new camera and give you back your food porn!

Sweet Corn Tamale Dough

so, back at the state fair i had the pleasure of eating a la loma tamale, and one of the things that made this tamale extra special (besides being vegan), was the fluffy, slightly sweet, corn studded dough that encased the teeny roasted veggies. it was unlike any other tamale i had ever had before, and it left me craving more. so flash forward to last week, i’m running on a treadmill watching the food network, and a new mexican food show comes on. and they’re making tamales. i’m intrigued, i watch on and  i saw it-the host was pureeing corn and folding it into her batter! but, her tamales were more like cachapas; a high liquid to flour ratio made her tamales un-stuffable, and flat, more like a little corn cake, or dumpling. but i figured, if i can take my dense tamale dough, and pump it up with frozen corn, and add a little extra fat, maybe, just maybe, i could re-create those little la loma gems i love so much. i came close.

Fluffy, Sweet Corn Tamale Dough

makes about 8 dinner sized tamales

2 cups fresh, or thawed frozen corn

1 1/2 c Masa Harina- try Maseca

1 tbs sugar

3/4 baking powder

1 tsp salt

1/3 c corn oil- unrefined will have a more pronounced corn flavor

8-10 large dried corn husks-available at any mexican grocer

get a steamer basket at the ready and place the husks in a sink of hot water to soften. place the corn kernels in a food processor and pulse into small pieces, but not smooth. place all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl or your electric mixer. add the corn, mixing well, and then slowly mix in the oil. now stream in the vegetable stock and beat the dough until light, fluffy, and spread-able. you may not use all of the stock, but i did. heres my first tamale post if you need help with the hands on stuff. fill the tamales with your desired filling, we used some sauteed onion, garlic, pepper, peas and carrot-or go naked! steam for about 45-60 minutes and serve with some spanish rice, a green, and some hot sauce!

 

sweet corn tamales

sweet corn tamales

 


Pupusas: A Delicious How-To

pupusas. if i could sum them up in three words, they would be crispy, chewy, and stuffed. how does that not sound good!? i found out about pupusas (a salvadorian delight) from my new favorite cookbook, Viva Vegan, and this was my second round making them. i tweaked the dough, and made my own filling: zucchini, corn, and pinto! i also simplified the cooking of them for either feeding a large crowd, or making extras to freeze. i also will post pics of making the pupusas, since thats the real tricky part. eat these bad boys with something green, and a spicy chile for dipping.

pupusas with broccoli, rice, and fried plantains

Pupusas, adapted from Viva Vegan

makes 8, serves 4

Dough

2 cups instant Masa Harina- Try Maseca

1 3/4 c vegetable stock

1/2 tsp salt.

Zucchini Filling

2 Medium zucchini, quartered and thinly sliced

1 cup cooked pinto beans, drained and rinsed

1/2 red onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 c sweet corn, fresh or frozen

1 tsp epazote

1/2 tsp mexican oregano

salt and pepper to taste

preheat the oven to 350

Heat a few tablespoons of oil in a pan over medium heat; add the onion and cook until beginning to soften, about 5 minutes. add the garlic and zucchini and cook until the zucchini browns. add the beans, corn, epazote and oregano and remove from the heat.

zucchini filling

now whisk together all of your dry dough ingredients together, and pour in the water. mix until a smooth, barely sticky dough forms. the dough should feel a little firm, but not dry.

masa dough

flatten into a disk, and cut into 8 wedges. roll each wedge into a ball, and place under a damp kitchen towel.

shaping the pupusa

insert your thumb into the center of the ball, and roll it while lightly pressing it upwards. its just like playing with play-do! make a little “acorn” with thick walls thats taller than it is wide.

stuff it up!

spoon in two tablespoons or so, of your filling. gently press the top of the filling down. make sure you dont press too hard! if your pupusa starts to crack, moisten your finger and seal the tear.

almost there!

now gently push and pinch the hole shut. this is the top of your pupusa. now, using your palms, gently, and slowly flatten your pupusa into a “flying saucer” shape. the edge of your palm (by your wrist) works great for gently working the edges, and your thumbs can gently press on the top. if any holes or cracks form, pinch a tiny bit of dough from the edge to seal them. brush lightly with oil, and place in a hot pan and brown each side for 5 minutes; transfer to a cookie sheet and bake for another 15. alternatively, you can place all of them into the oven and bake for 15 minutes per side, but they will be slightly drier.

yum!

delicious when dipped into something spicy!

p.s. dont forget the plantains!

Tag Team Dinners: BBQ Tempeh Pizza w/a Confetti Peppered Crust & Creamy Chickpea and Sweet Corn Soup

the weather was cool enough tonight to allow me to do one of my favorite things: heating up the house with delicious smells! i made a large pot of soup to work as lunches for a few days this week and a super un-traditional pizza for dinner. i tried to be efficient as possible by tag teaming my cooking and had both the pizza and soup done in about and hour and a half. take that rachael ray! to do the same, make your crust first, and while it rises prep your toppings and get the soup into the pot. by the time the pizza is baked, your soup will be ready to cool for portioning. you could also start the soup first, and serve it as a starter with the pizza to follow. if only i had squeezed in a dessert! maybe next time ;)

Confetti Peppered Pizza Crust

makes one medium (12-14 inch) crust

serves 3-4

1 1/2 tsp active dry yeast

3/4 c warm water

1 c whole wheat all purpose flour (or use all white flour to really see the speckles!)

1 1/4 c unbleached white all purpose flour

1 tbs Penzeys California Blend Seasoning*

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp sugar

1 tbs oil

place yeast in a small bowl, add the warm water and stir. let sit for 10 minutes. combine the flour, salt, sugar and the pepper blend. once 10 minutes has elapsed, add the oil to the water, and add to the dry ingredients and mix until a dough forms. knead the dough on a floured counter top until smooth and elastic. place in a lightly oiled, non reactive (glass, ceramic, not metal) bowl. cover with plastic wrap and place somewhere warm to rise for one hour.

*if not available try mixing 1 tsp black pepper with 1/4 tsp each garlic and onion powder. you will miss the red and green bell pepper speckles though;(

Pizza Toppings

1/2 c barbecue sauce. i used Organic Ville tangy.

1/4 c sweet corn, fresh or frozen

1/4 diced red onion

6 crimini mushrooms, sliced

1 recipe smoky tempeh (below)

Smoky Tempeh

1 8 oz package tempeh, sliced or cubed

1 c water or stock

1 tsp smoked spanish paprika

1 tsp cider vinegar

1/2 tsp liquid smoke

1/2 tbs Braggs

preheat the oven to 425

combine the water, Braggs, smoke, paprika and vinegar and mix well. place the tempeh in a non stick pan with the water mixture and bring to a simmer. keep simmering until all the liquid has been absorbed. add 1-2 tbs oil to the pan and brown the tempeh on all sides, proceed with your pizza!

lightly dust a pizza peel or wooden cutting board with cornmeal. punch down your dough. place dough onto the board and roll out to about 14 inches round. using your fingers, dimple the dough allover to help “hold” more sauce. spread the sauce to 1/2 inch from the edge of the crust. sprinkle the crust with the onions and corn, and layer with the tempeh and mushrooms. using a long spatula, slide the pizza onto a pizza pan, or heated pizza stone carefully. i find the best technique for me is to slide the spatula under the lip of the pizza farthest from me, and line that up with the back of the stone/pan and then drag the board out from underneath with the spatula guiding the pizza onto the stone/pan. bake the pizza for 25 minutes, or until the edges are a deep golden brown. if desired, drizzle more bbq sauce on the pizza before serving.

p.s. i didn’t use soy cheese but that doesn’t mean you cant!

dimple your dough!

dimple your dough!

before.....

before.....

after!

after!

sexay sexay pizza

sexay sexay pizza

Creamy Chickpea and Sweet Corn Soup

serves 4-8

5 cups vegetable stock, divided

1 cup diced yukon gold potato, about 1 medium

1 15oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1 medium yellow onion, diced

1 c bell pepper, any color combination, thin 1″ slices

1 serrano or jalapeno, thinly sliced

2 cloves garlic, minced

3 medium carrots, peeled, 1/4″ slices

3 cups sweet corn, if possible, grill or roast for extra flavor! (450 for 15 minutes)

1 tsp each, chives and parsley. use dried if necessary

salt and pepper to taste

*this soup is awesome because it gets its creaminess from pureed potatoes and chickpeas rather than a milk substitute, which can sometimes separate or curdle when brought to a boil*

in a dutch oven or large soup pot, saute the potatoes in 2 tbs oil. once lightly browned, add the chickpeas and one cup of the stock, and bring to a simmer. cook covered for 5 minutes to soften the chickpeas. remove from the heat and carefully place into the bowl of a food processor or your blender. puree until smooth and set aside.

to the same pot, add 2 tbs oil and cook the onion and garlic until softened, about 8 minutes. add the carrot and saute for 5 minutes more. now add the peppers (and the corn if it wasn’t grilled) and cook until slightly softened, about 15 minutes. add corn now if it was previously grilled. add your reserved chickpea paste, and stir in the stock until all lumps have dissolved. bring to a low boil and season with salt and pepper to taste. simmer on medium-low until the flavors have combined, about 20 minutes. remove from the heat and add the fresh herbs. serve immediately, or cool and portion for later use!

wish you were here

wish you were here

an ode to the fair

ah, state fair, how i missed thee. actually, considering i haven’t been to the minnesota state fair in 8 years i don’t remember much to miss! the last time i went was way back when dan and i had first started dating. he still ate meat, an “opportunivore” as i named him, and i was still a dairy eating veg-head with flaming red short hair. memories. the state fair is what it is, a chance for people watching at it’s finest while consuming anything and everything fried, on a stick, in your hands or any combination thereof. if there was anything i could miss (besides cheese curds) it would be those gigantic ears of roasted corn dunked in a tub of butter (salt shakers hanging from clotheslines), and eating them while counting mullets walk by dan patch ave. while i was feeling nostalgic for corn, the hubby and i caught part of an episode of “man v. food”, the show where the guy faces eating challenges for the sake of, well, eating. anywho, he was in south carolina and he was at this restaurant that served fried chicken on a biscuit with caramelized onions and cheese and i found myself wanting to eat something, anything, fried on a biscuit. in our house on sundays it’s tradition to eat something “crap-tastic” since i keep junk to a minimum during the week (and it makes for good gym motivation). so for this sunday, as an ode to the great minnesota get together, and an ode to my love of crap thats fried, i give you:

Holy Shit its Fried Ch***en on a Biscuit with Roasted Sweet Corn! (you can sub your own “un” word if you want)

serves 4

start by removing half the leaves from 4 large ears of sweet corn, peeling back the remainder to remove the silk. once the silk has been removed carefully close the leaves back up and place in a sink filled with cool water. let these hang out while you make the biscuits.

Biscuits

2 c all purpose flour

1/4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

6 tbs chilled earth balance, cut into small cubes

3/4 c milk alternative mixed with a scant TBS cider vinegar

crank the oven to 450

mix the dry ingredients in a bowl, or in the bowl of your food processor (preffered)

“cut” the margarine into the flour with a fork, wide wire whisk or with the food processor. using the processor will keep the margarine colder, and that’s the goal. pulse 2-5 times or cut until the flour looks like coarse sand. add your “buttermilk” and mix with just a few quick strokes until just mixed. do not overmix! let this rest for just a minute while your flour up your countertop. turn the dough out and pat into a rectangle that is 3/4″ thick. do not knead or use your rolling pin! to much gluten stimulation! these are lazy biscuits, tasty lazy biscuits! decide if you want perfect biscuits or purpose serving biscuits. if you want em purdy, get out your 3″ biscuit cutter and cut out 4-6 biscuits. if you hate to waste the first turn of the dough (once you knead the scraps together they suck) cut the dough into 6 rectagles. place on a cookie sheet with the edges almost touching. bake 12 minutes, or until pale gold and keep covered while you fry your brains out!

Roasted Sweet Corn

now that the biscuits are out, crank the oven up to 500 degrees. remove corn from the sink and shake off. wrap lightly in foil and toss onto the bottom rack of your oven and set a timer for ten minutes. start on your fried ch***en

Fried Ch***en

find 4 cutlets (veganomicon) or 4 slabs tofu, or seitan

breading:

1 1/2 c flour

1 tsp salt and pepper

3 tsp paprika

2 tsp garlic powder

en-r-g egg substitute equal to 2 eggs, or use 1 tbs cornstarch in 1/4 c water*

1/2 c almond (soy rice whatev) milk

2 tbs lemon juice

add lemon juice to milk alternative an set aside

mix the flour through the garlic powder in a shallow bowl or pie plate, set aside

in another shallow pan/plate mix the “buttermilk” with your egg substitute

place a heavy bottomed (cast iron preferred) skillet over medium high heat and fill with about an inch of vegetable oil

now for the fun part! dedicate your left hand for the wet stuff, right for the dry, ok? take your left hand and pat a cutlet in the buttermilk mixture until coated and drop into the dry pan. take your right hand and scoop flour on top of the cutlet and make sure its comletely coated. pick it up with the right hand and drop it back into the wet bowl. use your left hand again to quickly re-moisten the cutlet and drop it back into the dry pan. again, use your right hand to thouroughy coat the peice with flour and this time, carefully place it in the hot oil. make sure the oil bubbles up for a drop of batter first. repeat with the three other cutlets, being carefull not too over crowd the pan. if your corn timer has beeped, turn the corn over and set the timer for another ten minutes. this would be the best time to start sauteeing some onions and cutting up some soy cheeze if you’re into that stuff. fry the cutlets on each side until a deep golden brown and drain on a cooling rack.

assembly time! split a hot biscuit, add some onions, a cutlet and some soy cheeze (if you dare) grab some hot corn from the oven, rub it down with some earth balance and dress it up with salt and anything else you like. sit back with a beer and marvel at the 9$ plus parking you saved by staying home and watching your neighbors do random crap. its fun!

*this is something i didn’t do, but think may work so experiment carefully

prepping corn

prepping corn

fuck the fair, this is all the petting zoo i need!

fuck the fair, this is all the petting zoo i need!

hubby preps the onions

hubby preps the onions

YUM!

YUM!

tell your thighs to STFU!

tell your thighs to STFU!

DSCF4291

absolutely wonderful!

absolutely wonderful!

*droooooooling

*droooooooling

DSCF4313

ok, 5 million pics later….

i has a food baby, her name is scrumtrelescent cortez

its the perfect combination of salty, sweet, crispy dough-y wonder….